Two years last Wednesday (the 22nd), that's how long it's been since our sweet little Mara passed away.
I found myself doing everything in my power to stay busy so I wouldn't think about things. Anyone who's close to me knows that the minute I feel any emotional pain I tend to run in the opposite direction; good or bad. I tend to push my feelings aside, blast some fun dance music, or drive to the ocean to get away from things.
In many ways I wish I were stronger to face the pain straight on.
I realize that Mara is in a much better place and am so grateful that her pain and struggle with her physical limitations have been lifted. I imagine her finally getting to dance and sing like she always loved before her sickness.
But knowing she's well does not necessarily take the pain away from missing her.
My brother, Bryan, and his wife, Heather, do an amazing job of sharing Mara's story. I decided Wednesday night to let the walls down enough to read their blog again. I wish I would have called, I wish I was strong enough to talk to them and give comfort. I spent the evening letting my emotions take over, looking through past pictures, and watching videos Heather gave me. Dallas was at work, so I spent a good solid hour crying and when I felt drained of tears I put on some dance music and sang at the top of my lungs.
I know it's not the best way of dealing with things, but it definitely helped.
I love you, sweet Mara and it gives me great comfort to know you are happy. I miss and love you and am trying to be worthy of all the blessings I've been given.
www.maraadams.com
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