Sweet Little Liam

Let me start this post by saying how grateful I am to have a knowledge of the Gospel of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  I know that He loves us and knows us each individually.  I also know that He feels, in depth, our pain and sorrow, along with our joys and triumphs.  When tackling the trials in front of us, it is He who can lift us up and carry us when in need.

January was not an easy month.
A couple days after we had returned from Christmas break with my family in Washington, we received devastating news from my younger brother.  He and his wife were due with their third child, first little boy, the second week of January.  When Leisha went in for her 38 week appointment the doctors couldn't find a heart beat.  They immediately rushed her to the hospital to see what was wrong.  The very next day, little Liam Dee Adams was delivered, his sweet spirit having already returned to our Heavenly Father.

I have no words to express the sadness I feel for Richard and Leisha.  I can't imagine having to say hello and goodbye to a child, only holding him for a few moments.  Even with the knowledge we have of eternal families and knowing that they will be reunited with Liam again, I'm not sure how one "recovers" from something so tragic.

It also breaks my heart that losing a child/grandchild is not 'new' for our family.  We lost sweet Mara in September 2008.  I look at the bond that now connects Bryan, Heather, Richard, and Leisha.  What a comfort they find in each other.  And how sad that they are connected in this way.

My older brother, Erik, and I flew back up to Washington for the graveside service for precious Liam.  I decided not to take Daxton (for several different reasons) and was so grateful for the amazing friends who stepped up and watched him last minute while I was away and Dallas was working.  I missed him terribly, but was so grateful to be able to give my complete attention to Richard, Leisha, and their two perfect girls, Emma and Nora.  

When I arrived, Heather was already hard at work.  She had prepared a Spa day for all the little girls, complete with lotion, massages, and nail painting.  It was such a sweet way to allow Emma and Nora to have some fun in the midst of sadness.  The girls LOVED being pampered and had a blast with their cousins, Natalie, Katrina, and Sadie.

Heather massaging Emma and Nora's feet and hands.

Sadie and Emma showing off their nails.  As you can see...Sadie may have rubbed her face before her nails were dry!

Heather is a saint and even let Nora paint her nails...or should I say knuckles, with fluorescent pink nail polish.  Nora loved it!

Showing off their nails.

The graveside service for little Liam was kept to family only.  There was a light drizzle the entire time; Heavenly Father crying with us as well.  I tried to take as many pictures as possible for Richard and Leisha, hoping in some way I could help.  The flowers turned out beautiful (the white is tinted in the pictures due to the green covering set up to protect us from the rain.)  Bishop Adams (Uncle Jay) led the service and Bryan was asked to dedicate the grave.  It was a beautifully perfect dedication.

Milo and Tom (Leisha's brothers) and Erik and Bradley (two of my brothers) were asked to be the pallbearers.  It was heart breaking to see such a small casket being carried.

After the service there was a small luncheon at the church for immediate family members.  Leisha's sister, Shaila, had taken the most beautiful pictures at the hospital of Richard and Leisha's few moments with Liam.  The images turned out so perfect, but I'll only share his little foot print.  What an amazing gift to them.

After the luncheon, we all wrote little messages to Liam, put them inside balloons, and released them outside.  One last little goodbye.

I can't even begin to say how grateful I am to be sealed for eternity to my family.  I feel so blessed to be surrounded by such amazing examples of Christlike love.

Today marks the two month anniversary of little Liam's delivery.  My heart is with Richard and Leisha at this time.  I know their angel Liam is watching over them and excited for everyone to be reunited again.  I know that we have a Heavenly Father who loves us.  I know that if we turn to Him, He will heal us of our heartache.  I am so grateful for this hope and understanding.